I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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