Your tits are I can't wait for
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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