chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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