well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What a dumb baby whore.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
