Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
