Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
