fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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