Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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