Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
