Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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