Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
