YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
