How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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