Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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