I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
