When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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