Cold hands, warm shart.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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