They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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