I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
