Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
