Screwed.edu
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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