That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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