i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
