my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
