Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
