Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
