found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
