remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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