Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
