Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And then my night got REAL pukey
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
