I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
