you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
