And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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