The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
