What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
