everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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