Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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