How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
