I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
