I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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