Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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