I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
