I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
