Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
