i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
