You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
