You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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