anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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