She is in my trunk
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
