is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
