I just saw a hot homeless man
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
